Girl with a Dress Code
From kindergarten to senior year of high school, I hopped around to different private schools in Las Vegas. Most of which were religious private schools, which meant I had a very strict uniform. Every morning I used to wake up and slip on the same clothes. A white polo with my school seal sewn right above my heart, black dickies sagging loosely around my waist but ripping at the seams where it hugged my thighs, and a maroon and gold letterman’s jacket that I had spent way too much money on. For four years I wore my uniform on repeat. The three years prior to that I wore the same uniform just in a smaller size and missing the letterman’s jacket. From kindergarten on, I was sent to school in clothes that were identical to the kids around me. But that didn’t stop me from getting sent to the office from time to time, with teachers claiming that I was out of dress code for showing too much skin, for not having the right pockets, or even wearing the wrong colored shoes. Although some would say a dress code and a uniform would make getting ready for school much easier than having to pick out an outfit every morning, my experience with a sexist and extreme dress code led to problems with my self expression and body image.
At one of my first private schools, we had to dress in our daily uniform consisting of a polo and some sort of approved shorts, pants, and skirts. And one thing I couldn’t stand wearing to school was a skirt, but the girls were given no other option the one day a week where we had to dress in our formal church uniform every single Wednesday. It was against the dress code for me to wear anything except a skirt for those Wednesdays that seemed to drag on forever. Even as a nine year old, I was so upset about having such a gendered dress code because I didn’t understand why I had to wear something that made me uncomfortable when the boys could wear pants anyway.
As time went on at this specific private school, more instances occurred where I was getting dress coded for things that were simply a part of growing up. I was in fifth grade when I began wearing training bras. As an eleven year old, it felt like it was an exciting rite of passage to go shopping with my mom for training bras. I began to grow up and it was an exciting time entering this new chapter of girlhood. Until it wasn’t. One afternoon in the elementary school cafeteria, the dean of school saw the strap of my training bra when it was slightly visible by the collar of my polo shirt, a detail so minute that I was shocked that anyone had noticed it at all. This woman took it upon herself to reach and snap the strap on my shoulder, saying that it was against dress code to have it visible under my uniformed shirt.
A wave of embarrassment took hold of me in that moment and I was on the brink of tears. Was I doing something wrong? Was I being inappropriate? Why was I getting in trouble for something that had to do with what I was wearing underneath my uniform? I was overwhelmed with confusion and sadness when I explained this situation to my mom, who was furious beyond belief. At such an impressionable age, this was a significant moment in my childhood. The beginning of a long journey of body image issues and a lack of self expression with a dress code. And it only continued from there.
Not long after this, I got in trouble. Again. It was 80s Day during my fifth grade spirit week at school. It was an exciting time given that this was one of the few times a year we could go to school wearing something other than our restrictive uniform. I wore an oversized crewneck that took up most of my lengthy body and black leggings that went all the way down to my socks. But before I could even walk into my classroom, I was stopped in the halls for “having my butt out for everyone to see.” I was eleven. I asked the dean if I could go call my mom for a change of clothes and was denied, being told to go to lost and found and find something to cover up. I went to the bathroom and cried for what felt like hours. I hated getting in trouble as a kid. I was a people pleaser and when I did something wrong I took it to heart, but getting in trouble for wearing something that didn’t even show skin or expose any part of my body, was a new feeling. I felt ashamed of myself.
I began to realize other girls were having similar experiences. And I was very ready to go to a new school and hopefully have more freedom when it came to a uniform and a dress code. Eventually I transferred to yet another private school, one that was both a middle school and a high school. I still wore polo shirts and could finally wear shorts and pants whenever I wished. But I soon realized I was entering yet another world of dress codes and sexist behaviors.
Although I was excited to have more options with what to wear, I found out about the ‘pocket rule’. Everyone was supposed to have ‘sewn in’ pockets in their shorts or pants. At first I just assumed that it was like any other dress code rule, but I slowly began to notice that it was mostly the girls that were getting caught for having improper pockets. While girls were getting sent to the office for wearing pants and shorts that had ‘sewn out’ pockets, the boys were not getting in trouble for wearing athletic shorts or pants that had no pockets at all. At random times in the year, teachers would even come into our classrooms to do ‘dress code checks’ and make everyone lift up their shirts or hoodies just enough to take a look at the pockets on the back of our shorts and pants. But the only ones that would get noticed were the girls and it made me extremely uncomfortable having male teachers tell me they needed to look at what I was wearing to see if it was appropriate or not. Why was it such a big deal for the girls to not be in the dress code while the guys got away with being completely out of uniform? Yes, the boys did get dress coded every once and awhile, but it seemed like the girls were being examined under a microscope.
I began to realize it only ever mattered what girls wore, that what they were wearing was deemed inappropriate long before we even entered the classroom. I grew more and more self conscious about what I was wearing, how I looked in my clothes, and how I fit into them. Constantly checking whether or not I was up to the school’s standards with my appearance led to multiple body image issues as well as a new struggle on how I could outwardly express myself. Wearing uniforms with a strict dress code can have a negative effect on impressionable youth especially when there are double standards that have been set with what children are allowed to wear and how they are treated based on their gender in private uniformed schools. I think there should be less restrictions on dress codes and a better understanding on how girls are treated when it comes to the clothes they decide to wear to school.
Overall, school administrations need to adjust private and public school dress codes so that they can be genderless, less binary, and less intrusive. Impressionable children should not have to stick to outdated and sexist dress codes while teachers and school professionals sit back while they pick and choose which children get in trouble for what they are wearing. My negative experiences with dress codes and the teachers that enforced them led to issues concerning my body image and self expression, and no child should have to go through this. Even though there are some positive reasons to have a dress code, there needs to be an improvement when it comes to what is right and wrong with someone’s clothing.
